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I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather … not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over…
(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)

People who say “nothing is impossible” have never tried slamming a revolving door.

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

I gave you an unlimited budget, and you have already exceeded it!

Acupuncture is pointless.


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